Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Scary things REALLY do happen in OCTOBER!!!

So I know I have been the words worst blogger this month. I am having a real hard time making time for our blog. And I need to be posting because it is sort of theraputic to write out what is going on in life as well as with our baby making process. So I am making a promise to all of you who read our blog as well as to myself to at least post once a week with either life news or baby making news.

Well as the title says a lot of scary things have happend this month. William has kind of been the lab rat this month, going from doctor to doctor, having sonograms etc. Because the infection as they originally called it did not go away. Well after a really embarassing experience with the Male Fertility doctor we have come to find out that William has what is called Prostotitis. Basically he has extra white blood cells in his sperm. And they don't know if he really does have an infection or if he just has extra white blood cells. We don't know, but the doctor said he was putting him on this medication and vitamin E to help clear up what has been going on. So basically after this month William and I are EVEN (for right now) when it comes to things we have done to try to have a baby.

So I know your thinking , "Now that is not so scary" the scary part has to do with me. Well I was told at the doctors as you probably remember that I was going to be allowed to take clomid this month and next month as long as I ovulated. Well last Thursday (day 23) I got an unfortunate surprise, I got my period. Which I thought was really strange. I knew something was wrong, because I was supposed to go in that Friday to get my progesterone level tested to see if I ovulated. Well when I went in on Friday I told the nurse what was going on and she said she wasn't sure what was wrong, but I SHOULDN'T have gotten my period. But she said lets do the blood test and see what the results tell us. Well the results came back and my number was "NON OVULATORY" So the nurse said that the plan is to give me a few weeks off and when William comes in again to do another S.A. to come with him and we would sit down and go over what was going to happen next. She said that we were moving on to shots. And I don't know if I ever told you guys but I am TERRIFIED of shots!!! And the idea of myself or William administering them to myself is horrifying!!
I was talking to a friend the other day, saying that sometimes when you have wanted something for so long and you keep being rejected, eventually you kind of want to give up. And that is how I feel I kind of want to give up. And I know that sounds ridiculous when some of you have gone through so much more. But I am REALLY scared of the needles. I want to keep trying so I decided what I need some guidance from those of you out there who have been through this stage. I want to know what to expect. I need preparation for what exactly is going to happen. So if you would help me with that, it would good. You see because this is NOT a battle that I nor William want to be defeated in, so we just need some help.

1 comment:

Alex and Jill said...

I too was terrified of needles (pre-IVF). I promise you that after that first shot, you will feel like a pro. They will teach you and William how to administer the shots and there are certain things you can do before giving them, where you don't even feel them. I even give myself the IM shots now...NEVER did I think that would be possible. Once you get to the shot part, let me know and I can give you a couple of tips that really helped me, if you want. Honestly, the shots are now the easiest part of IVF.

No worries, sweetie...you've come so far already. You can do this!

((HUGS))