Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Strange things happen when you are NOT paying Attention!

Well I have some interesting news. It appears that DESPITE all the confusion and drama of taking my pills, it appears that I ovulated anyway! I am kind of surprised I expected and prepared myself for the results coming back that I did not ovulate. So that is FOUR months in a ROW that I have ovulated! Woo Hoo!!! And four is my favorite number, so that's right I am going to say it.... I am going to be positive for both William & I, "I think that maybe this month will be our month!" So we will see.

I was talking to one of my best friends, Annie, today and she brought up a really good point, and that is where my positive attitude stems from. She said for a normal person who ovulates regularly it takes a couple months to get pregnant. Good thinking I know! I can always count on her for a positive outlook!!!

Well I guess it is back to work for now , Open House is Thursday night so I am very busy. I will keep you guys posted on what happens!!! Thanks for all the posts, I think that we are developing a little blog family support group!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Being Chatty Soothes the Mind!!

Hello all!!! Yes I have returned back from where I disappeared to! AKA Some place in the First Grade blackhole!! I am so sorry that has taken me so long to post again. Thanks so much for all the emails to check on William & I!

Well I am proud to say that I have survived my first week of teaching the 1st grade!!! Wooo Hooo!!!! And I am happy to say that despite all the stress, I am having a wonderful time! I love my class and I love teaching in general. The best part is that I am really distracted from the baby thoughts (don't get me wrong they are always there!!). But having something else to focus on has been great!

I have been so distracted that I screwed up my pills this cycle! Has this ever happend to any of you?? You see it started with I decided that I was going to try Walgreens instead of Target mostly because of distance from my house. My thinking was same pills, same price. Boy was I WAY WRONG!!!!! I usually pay about $24-$27 for the generic brand of clomid from Target. When I went to pick up my pills from Walgreens I asked them how much and they told me $56. Well after I picked my jaw off the ground, I explained that I usually pay way less at Target. The obnoxious pharmacy tech said, "Well Target does not make it's primary profit on medication like we do." And I responded, "Well just the same I would like my prescription back!!!!" The key thing to remember is that particular day I was supposed to start taking those pills and I would not be able to get them from Target @ the time it was. So I was already a day behind. Then on Friday(the following day) I got so wrapped up in taking pictures for graduation I forgot to pick up my pills!!! Nice right, I know??!!! But I am sure this was not good but I still took ALL the pills. And with the results of my progesterone looming over my head (Tomm. AM). I can't help but think that I screwed it all up! So if we don't get pregnant it is all my fault!

Despite my guilt I am very blessed with an AMAZING husband who is ALWAYS there for me!!! Even during my emotional episodes that I have (which I am sure many of you have had) You know the I am crying but I don't know why episodes! So I thank God everyday for him! And I am still somewhat confident that we will get pregnant!

Also I have found that I have been excessively chatty about my condition! I think that this blog has helped me open up and learn to talk about it as opposed to holding it all in! So I guess because I have been talking about I feel a little better about it!

Well I would like to close with some wonderful pictures of my classroom!!!

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Saturday, August 9, 2008

Busy, Busy, Busy Bees Have no time to Worry

I want to start out by saying thanks for the kind thoughts on my last post. I know it has been a while since I last posted, and I know that I kind of left you guys hanging. I just got really wrapped up in putting together my classroom and my graduation, which was today!! I have to say that all this stuff going on has been a blessing!!! It has really helped me get the baby thing off my mind. (we'll see how long that will last)

To bring everybody up to speed. I had a Dr. Appointment this past Wednesday (for my monthly probing ewwww) my MD said that the pain was normal (yeah right well it wasn't normal for me). He said it was most likely pain from ovulation. Overall everything is going good I started my next round of clomid so we will see how this month goes!!!

I have to say what really has been helping us lately is going to church on Sunday. It seems like every service speaks to us and gives us help in what we are going through.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Patience is a virtue I DON"T have right now!

Well I am pleased to say that the pain has finally subsided and in it's place has come head aches and exhaustion (joy for me!). What really sticks is I really need all the energy I can get to work on my classroom because it is "crunch" time if I want to have it done by pre-planning. And on top of everything because I have been placed on "relax rest", I have not been able to exercise (per Dr.'s orders) so I feel fat! (yuck!!) Yea, Yea, I know poor William, I am a serious whiner and very grumpy (what did he ever do to deserve me?!)

Besides all my symptoms, my mind is Still RACING with baby thoughts. Yesterday was day 28, so the time to "pee on a stick" is drawing near, and I HATE taking pregnancy tests! No it is not because I pee all over my hand (I know TMI)! I have mastered the procedure of taking the test, I just hate the anxiety I get during those 3 minutes, knowing that I won't see those "two lines" . And this time I know the anxiety of those 3 minutes is going to be so much worse because of what has been going on this week. And nurse Sue said to take a test on Saturday, and William and I have decided that is when we will take one, I am TERRIFIED! Not only for my own feelings but for his, I just don't want to let him down again! And the worst part is my cycle during these past 6 months has been about 35 days ( I know that is really long and I am really screwed up!) so technically taking a test Saturday could be too early! We could get a negative result even if we were pregnant! So I don't know if I even want to take one on Saturday, but if I am pregnant I really would like to know!

I just want something amazing to happen to William and I! I know good things happen to us ALL the time, because we are blessed to have each other, good family and friends. That is why getting pregnant would be amazing, because I am getting to the point where I feel like it is impossible for me to ever get to mommy hood!

And what is so funny about ALL of this is "I am SUPPOSED to be trying to be as RELAXED as possible!" I don't think nurse Sue realized that I DON"T know how to RELAX!!

What would you guys do? Would you take the test on Saturday or hold out until Next Thursday?