Friday, August 1, 2008

Patience is a virtue I DON"T have right now!

Well I am pleased to say that the pain has finally subsided and in it's place has come head aches and exhaustion (joy for me!). What really sticks is I really need all the energy I can get to work on my classroom because it is "crunch" time if I want to have it done by pre-planning. And on top of everything because I have been placed on "relax rest", I have not been able to exercise (per Dr.'s orders) so I feel fat! (yuck!!) Yea, Yea, I know poor William, I am a serious whiner and very grumpy (what did he ever do to deserve me?!)

Besides all my symptoms, my mind is Still RACING with baby thoughts. Yesterday was day 28, so the time to "pee on a stick" is drawing near, and I HATE taking pregnancy tests! No it is not because I pee all over my hand (I know TMI)! I have mastered the procedure of taking the test, I just hate the anxiety I get during those 3 minutes, knowing that I won't see those "two lines" . And this time I know the anxiety of those 3 minutes is going to be so much worse because of what has been going on this week. And nurse Sue said to take a test on Saturday, and William and I have decided that is when we will take one, I am TERRIFIED! Not only for my own feelings but for his, I just don't want to let him down again! And the worst part is my cycle during these past 6 months has been about 35 days ( I know that is really long and I am really screwed up!) so technically taking a test Saturday could be too early! We could get a negative result even if we were pregnant! So I don't know if I even want to take one on Saturday, but if I am pregnant I really would like to know!

I just want something amazing to happen to William and I! I know good things happen to us ALL the time, because we are blessed to have each other, good family and friends. That is why getting pregnant would be amazing, because I am getting to the point where I feel like it is impossible for me to ever get to mommy hood!

And what is so funny about ALL of this is "I am SUPPOSED to be trying to be as RELAXED as possible!" I don't think nurse Sue realized that I DON"T know how to RELAX!!

What would you guys do? Would you take the test on Saturday or hold out until Next Thursday?


Alex and Jill said...

I'd hold out if at all possible. I would hate for you to take too early and get a false negative.

I'm praying for you, girl...I want this to happen for you guys!

Alex and Jill said...

Hey girl...just stopping by to check on you, see how you're doing. Hope all is well!