Fun Filled Saturday!

In my attempt to talk about other things in life that have nothing to do with baby making, because on top of all this baby making business William and I have a very busy life! Almost every weekend is jam packed with activities with friends and family. By Sunday afternoon we wonder in exhaustion where the weekend went and we can't wait until Friday is here again!

This weekend was extra special because it was the weekend of FLORIDA VS. GEORGIA. For those of you who don't really keep up with SEC college football, this is a HUGE game for both teams. Next to Florida State, Georgia is our next big rival. Both teams meet on neutral ground (Jaguar Stadium), in Jacksonville, FL, and play a hard cor football game. It has been this way for a VERY long time. And so being the HUGE Gator fans that William and I are we travel up to Jacksonville every year to watch them play.

This year we rode up and tailgated with our Good friends Annie, Devin, Adam, & Lauren. Annie and Lauren set up the most adorable tailgating site. And Devin and Adam cooked up some yummy schish ca bobs (please excuse the spelling error). Over all it was a GREAT time!!!! The Best part of course was when the Gators STOMPED Georgia.

I realized later that night that one of the many reason's I love going to Gator games is because it is 4 hours or sometimes more of no talk of babies and I am happy to say I like it.

Below I have posted some pictures from this weekend:

William & I

Me, Annie (baby Belle), & Lauren

yummy food

Annie & I enjoying our Pixie Stixs

Scary things REALLY do happen in OCTOBER!!!

So I know I have been the words worst blogger this month. I am having a real hard time making time for our blog. And I need to be posting because it is sort of theraputic to write out what is going on in life as well as with our baby making process. So I am making a promise to all of you who read our blog as well as to myself to at least post once a week with either life news or baby making news.

Well as the title says a lot of scary things have happend this month. William has kind of been the lab rat this month, going from doctor to doctor, having sonograms etc. Because the infection as they originally called it did not go away. Well after a really embarassing experience with the Male Fertility doctor we have come to find out that William has what is called Prostotitis. Basically he has extra white blood cells in his sperm. And they don't know if he really does have an infection or if he just has extra white blood cells. We don't know, but the doctor said he was putting him on this medication and vitamin E to help clear up what has been going on. So basically after this month William and I are EVEN (for right now) when it comes to things we have done to try to have a baby.

So I know your thinking , "Now that is not so scary" the scary part has to do with me. Well I was told at the doctors as you probably remember that I was going to be allowed to take clomid this month and next month as long as I ovulated. Well last Thursday (day 23) I got an unfortunate surprise, I got my period. Which I thought was really strange. I knew something was wrong, because I was supposed to go in that Friday to get my progesterone level tested to see if I ovulated. Well when I went in on Friday I told the nurse what was going on and she said she wasn't sure what was wrong, but I SHOULDN'T have gotten my period. But she said lets do the blood test and see what the results tell us. Well the results came back and my number was "NON OVULATORY" So the nurse said that the plan is to give me a few weeks off and when William comes in again to do another S.A. to come with him and we would sit down and go over what was going to happen next. She said that we were moving on to shots. And I don't know if I ever told you guys but I am TERRIFIED of shots!!! And the idea of myself or William administering them to myself is horrifying!!
I was talking to a friend the other day, saying that sometimes when you have wanted something for so long and you keep being rejected, eventually you kind of want to give up. And that is how I feel I kind of want to give up. And I know that sounds ridiculous when some of you have gone through so much more. But I am REALLY scared of the needles. I want to keep trying so I decided what I need some guidance from those of you out there who have been through this stage. I want to know what to expect. I need preparation for what exactly is going to happen. So if you would help me with that, it would good. You see because this is NOT a battle that I nor William want to be defeated in, so we just need some help.

October updates

So I know it has been forever since I have posted and I am so sorry for that. Things have been really crazy with school and going to Gator Games. I usually post on the weekends but every weekend there seems something to do, usually Gator related.
So here I go with the lengthy update...
Well about the 3rd week into my cycle I started feeling really tired, and nauziated. So of course I told myself "Don't get too excited Stephanie, it is too soon." But as all of you know you just can't help but get excited. By the time my last week started I was convinced that I was. But on day 29 my period came. So I was heart broken. So William finished the antibiotics this past Monday and it was also day 5, so time for my monthly probing. (I know TMI) but anyway. So since William was done with his antibiotics it he needed to make a "deposit" as I call it. Also our dr. told us that we will be allowed to stay on clomid only for this cycle and the next and then we are moving on. So that was a lot to take in. As you can see we had an eventful Monday.
Well I called Tuesday morning to get the preliminary results of the test. Our nurse said that unfortunately not all of it cleared up, but it shouldn't effect us from trying normally, without including an IUI. Now this is obviously my irrational side, but I felt that we go ahead and do an IUI so that we COULD get pregnant. But that is not how our Dr. felt, he seems to be confident that we should be able to get pregnant on our own.
So our nurse called Wednesday and said she spoke with our dr. and he wanted us to be referred to the Male Infertility dr. in our clinic. So we have an appointment this coming Thursday. So hopefully we will know more soon! I promise I will write in and let you know what happens soon.

THE RESULTS ARE IN!!!!!

Hello All! I am happy to say that the results are in!!! And they showed that it was something that could be cleared up! Praise God!! So our plan now is to finish up the antibiotic and finish up our cycle. I hope everything works out. I am trying daily to keep this positive attitude up!!
I know this is kind of short but I just wanted to update you guys.

Theapy sessions ONLINE!!!

Yes I know that this is my second post today but I wanted to comment back to all the comments on my last couple of posts.

This blog has been such a blessing! It has been a form of therapy to type my thoughts out and get them OUT of my head. And I have been able to share my story with others just as I get to hear other's stories who are going through the same thing. I am glad that I am able to share my story with all of you. And I love the support that I get from all of you. There is just something about talking with people who know EXACTLY what we are going through!!!

If you ever have any questions or ever need to talk please email me !!! edugator08@hotmail.com. Thank you for all of your kind thoughts and sharing your stories with me!

Hopefully I will be able to share some more news with you ASAP!

AWKWARD!!!!!!!

So I know that this post is about four days late! But I was trying to hold out until tommorrow when we will have real results. Then I thought maybe I can just update everybody up to the point where we are right now.

Well as you know this past Monday I had my monthly ultrasound, and William was getting tested. As you know this was an EXTREMELY awkward experience for not just him but for me as well, but we decided to walk in confident hand in hand, thinking that no matter what happens God will help us get throught it. This appointment had to of been the most stressful up to this point. My thinking was that if William ended up being ok then that is GREAT, but if there was something wrong, at least we know.

So this is how the appointment went... The nurse called me back for my ultrasound and took William where he needed to go, so I had to sit in the ultrasound room all by myself for what felt an ETERNITY!!! Til William finally joined me and of course as soon as he came in I drilled him with questions!! Then the Dr. came in and did our monthly ritual. Things looked good this was our 4th month of ovulating in a row. I proceeded to ask the following questions after he was done:
-So what is our plan (meaning how many more months am I allowed to be on Clomid)?
Dr: You will take Clomid about 3 more times permitting that you continue to ovulate.

-What happens next after we can't take Clomid anymore?
Dr: Once we are done with Clomid we will move on to shots which is a more aggressive method.

-Do you think there is something wrong with William?
Dr: No I don't think so, sometimes Clomid helps and then other times after taking it for long periods of time it makes your uterus a not so good place for an egg to nest.

Once I asked all of my questions the Dr. then asked us if we had had William tested, we proceeded to tell him that we had JUST done it! He then asked us if we could wait around for about an hour becuase some of the results will be ready. He told us to go sit back out in the waiting room and either the nurse would come if things looked good, or he would come out if there was something wrong. After he left the room I just kind of lost it a little bit, I just sat there and cried. I wondered how did we get to this point. I told William I am so SCARED of the shots, I HATE needles!!!!! But I finally composed myself and we headed out to the waiting room.

So we tried to be calm and focus on the blessing that we would be able to get some of the results back so soon. We waited about 30-45 minutes and then the door finally opened and it was the Dr. a lump began to form in my throat thinking all the horrible things it could be, but I decided that it could be something small.

So of course both of our minds were racing as we followed the Dr. into a small room we had never been in before. He started out on a positive, William's count was really GOOD. So I was thanking God for that. But then he proceeded to tell us that there was something up and there were a few ways things could go. If this little issue could be cleared up by the prescription the Dr. wrote him we could continue on our merry way. If it does not clear up in 3 weeks on the prescription then he has to go see a special Dr. And lastly if the rest of the test results say it is something that can't be fixed then he would incorporate an IUI. So as you can imagine we have been praying for patience this whole week trying to wait to get the rest of the results, we are hoping we will get them tomorrow.

Sometimes you have to find a way to see the rest of the milk in the glass.

Well I am sorry to say that around 11:30AM this morning Aunt Flow came and paid me a visit. So it is very clear that I am NOT pregnant ( I don't know what it is but when I say that phrase I always feel like I am one MAURY SHOW, "And William is NOT the father!") Yeah yeah I know not funny!!! Anyways I am proud to say that despite my disappointment, I am very glad that my pd. came as opposed to me taking a test and getting a negative result. I hate taking pregnancy tests. I just get so much anxiety, it's like I know it is going to be negative, but I still secretly hope that it will be positive. So I thank God that he was gracious enough to have my pd. come when it did. So I did not have to take a pregnancy test.

Unfortunately its arrival has sent a certain things into motion. The first is I obviously need to go get an ultrasound done on Monday. Fun, Fun! And well another serious thing must happen. You see these past few months William, Dr. W. ,and I having discussing William getting tested. Well this month was the cut off point, both William & I decided if I did not get pregnant this month we would get him tested. So guess what he has to do on Monday!!! And I am sure that all of you reading this have gone through this either in my shoes or William's. I feel so bad! But I know it has to be done. I know this has to be so hard for William, and it means the world to me that he would do this despite how uncomfortable and awkward it will be. I just love him so much and I thank God for him EVERY day!! There is no one more perfect for me, that could be there for me during this difficult time. He is truly amazing! Any way if anyone has some words of wisdom for us about what is coming ahead of us, please share!

And as usual thank you so much for all the kind thoughts and check-ins. I love my blog family!